In case my previous posts about motherhood and pregnancy haven't made it clear, I want a baby. I strongly resent all the health-related obstacles in our path.
I do a pretty good job of not thinking about it constantly. I spend time reading, knitting, chatting with friends, watching television, swimming, people watching and so on.
But whenever something pulls my focus back, I feel the smack of our reality just like a slap across the face.
A recent headline ominously announced that being born to women with diabetes puts children at three to four times the risk of being born with a serious birth defect.
Diabetes Triples Women's Risk for Birth Defects
CDC Press Release
My initial thought upon reading this was that only if I was an uneducated, selfish cow would I know all this and intentionally become pregnant anyway. Harsh, I admit.
But on further reflection I realized there are a lot of unanswered questions about this research.
The news coverage does not address how well controlled the patients' diabetes was or whether they had good pre-natal care. For all we know a fair number of these diabetic women did not take the proper steps to control their diabetes before, during or after their pregnancies and the birth defects were a reflection of that. Further, we do not know if they had other risk factors that might have increased the likelihood of their children being born with problems.
Instead of continuing to focus on my feelings of despair, I decided to concentrate on what I can take away.
First, I need to see a reproductive endocrinologist. Next, I need to get answers to the many questions I have. Chief among them is how long my blood sugar needs to be at a stable level before I should consider trying to conceive. Finally, I need to make taking excellent care of myself my top priority. What better motivation could there be?
Technorati Tags: news, medication, pregnancy, diabetes, depression, migraines, chronic illness, health, somebody heal me
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Thursday, August 28, 2008
Raw Feelings About Diabetes, Baby Lust
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4 comments:
OOOhhh Diana,
I have to say I feel for you on this one...I am also there. I don't have diabetes, but I was on so many medications that I had gained a bunch of weight. I am getting back to my normal size and how you put it...what better motivation is there?
With migraines you have to be off your anti seizures meds (I don't know what you take) but there are certain things that just can't be in the body.
I so understand your need and want...I have already had 3 miscar. it is so tuff.
I don't know if the diabetes will really be that big of a problem, but my husband and I are looking at me just going off of everything and then try to get pregnant...there has been so many cases where people feel their best during preg. and no migraines!
But beyond that, I know the feeling...there really are no words. It is strange, I see so many who really should not be parents and they push them out like it is no big deal. Then the people that truly crave to be a mom...well here we are! It seems so unfair.
I will say this there are so many things now to help you, you probably will have little ones and soon! I will pray for that for you!
This is a tuff topic!!!!
My thoughts are with you!
Truly
Liz
Diana,
I'll never forget that feeling, sitting on the table, half-exposed physically and mentally in a gown as I tried to understand the words that were being said to me:
"...might not be able to carry a pregnancy..."
"...first several will end in miscarriage..."
"...pregnancy might not be in your cards..."
"...keep trying, you'll at least have those first few weeks..."
"...I knew one woman... once... who eventually... had a live birth..."
All I ever wanted to be as a little girl, was a mom. Now I was being told it might never happen. My babies were going to die inside me and it was going to be my fault.
I collapsed in the doorway of the room I was supposed to be bringing my babies home to, and sobbed.
Nothing else mattered. No pain could have been worse.
My daughter wants to eventually get married and have children. She and her long-time boyfriend share a genetic tendency that may be given to a child. Now I wonder how I can counsel her, reminding her what she already knows, remembering how I felt all those years ago.
Now I know what can be worse.
Would I have changed my decision to have my children, if I had known then what I know now... that I carry and could pass along this tendency? It's too late to ask it because I am already in love with my kids. I wouldn't be without them for anything. They tell me they're glad.
Only you can decide, but medicine changes every day. My cousin was born with a defect that killed him, which today would easily have been fixed before he was 6 months old.
Any child would be so very lucky to have you as a mom. I can tell you would give your whole heart to them.
I wish you peace as you seek a decision and an answer.
I wish I had a crystal ball for both you and my daughter...
Diana I think you're very right in your questions about this article. Whether there was any comparison of women whose diabetes was under good control versus those whose wasn't, I'd also want to know what numbers they meant, precisely. Tripling from 1 to 3 in 10,000 is very different from tripling from 1 to 3 in 100!
I am sure you will be a wonderful mother. Do your research and get a good doctor. I wish all the best for you.
- Megan
P.S. BTW I sure remember the baby-lust! I used to find myself on the beach molding the sand into pregnant bellies.
- Megan
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