Comments on Somebody Heal Me: Please Don't Ask Me 'How are You?'

It is a dilemma, especially since I now have a bet...

2009-05-11T17:14:00.000-05:00

It is a dilemma, especially since I now have a better handle on preventing my migraines. No migraine, no problem, ask away.

If I have a Migraine, WHO ARE YOU? AND WHY THE HELL DO YOU CARE? AND THE WORLD CAN DIE DIE DIE!!!

Uh, sorry. But I get a little moody when I am under.

As a side note, my mother-in-law (I am blessed with a great mother-in-law. No jokes about

I go for something like, "Oh, muddling through!" i...

2009-05-08T19:56:00.000-05:00

I go for something like, "Oh, muddling through!" in as light a tone as I can muster in those circumstances. I usually don't want to put to much effort into a question that is 99% of the time just a social nicety, but I usually don't want to answer with, "I'm fine."

I try for middle ground - I blogged about this a w...

2009-05-08T17:34:00.000-05:00

I try for middle ground - I blogged about this a while ago - a lot of us were using "AWAP" for "as well as possible." AWAP is a little bit like saying "not bad considering..." or "I've had worse days." I had to train my parents that "okay" is good. "Okay" is a helluva lot better than not okay! It's a tough one though. I think sometimes you can tell from someone's tone of voice whether it's an

Sometimes I think it's what's unseen that adds the...

2009-05-07T17:53:00.000-05:00

Sometimes I think it's what's unseen that adds the pressure to reveal. If I walk with a cane there's an unsaid communication - "I do things differently" it might be slower or more deliberately or with pain. But one look at the cane and you know somethings up. Right?

With chronic invisible experiences nothing telegraphs "different" - and we try to say it in our answer.

Often

What should someone ask? Isn't it rude not to in...

2009-05-07T01:38:00.000-05:00

What should someone ask? Isn't it rude *not* to inquire?

Yeah, I kind of hate that question. Almost as much...

2009-05-06T14:55:00.000-05:00

Yeah, I kind of hate that question. Almost as much as the 'what do you do?' question.

My reply is almost always 'I'm okay'. If I'm particularly bad I sometimes say 'I've been better' -- the first couple years I would just say good, doing good, whatever. When really I was (and am) in all kinds of pain. But I also don't usually don't want to talk about it. I'm not looking for another

I use to get really aggravated by myself, forcing ...

2009-05-06T10:30:00.000-05:00

I use to get really aggravated by myself, forcing the 'fine' answer when I clearly wasn't.
But I found the more often I responded with any other answer there was always a follow-up asking me for further explanation.
After 12 years, most everyone I know, know's that I'm not fine, or that I'm at least in pain. So while they accept the answer I give,they know I'm lying.
But it's just